Category: Naomi Stainbank

His gaze fixed on her shapely figure emerging like a nymph from the crystal clear pool. He envied, yes even loathed the drops of water on her smooth olive skin; he fantasized about his hot wet mouth drying them off and in their place emerging sweet sweat beads of passion.

She could not see him where he stood looking below from the balcony on the second floor of the holiday resort, but she felt his gaze searing her skin. Her body tingled, betraying her sensibility. She couldn’t. How could she? She barely knew him. She didn’t even know his last name or anything material about the man.

In her reveries, she had not noticed him teleport the divide. Before she could protest, his hot breath ignited her passion as his lips branded hot kisses on her neck. Like wax, she melted into him and his saint-seducing love.

Disarrayed clothes, furniture, décor, and ornaments mark a trail to the location of the heavily ecstatic breathing, moaning, and grunting. The lover’s passion is wild, unrestrained, and ravenously consumed. Within seconds, it is finished. Like a matchstick struck bright only to fizzle with an irritating burn.

Just like that, you have become an accomplice and witness to this most intimate crime. As hurried as the coital moment was, you find the lovers met once, perhaps thrice before they were so entangled in passion’s embrace.

In romance media, lovers’ meetings are often serendipitous, even perfect.

Perfect glances and darting eyes, seamless beautiful poetic exchanges; picturesque landscapes, settings, and lighting overlaid with love’s swooning sounds. It is all sublime, enough to make you believe in love all over again.

But you know better. Yes, you were fooled by these fantastic stupéfiants, and more than once, to your shame.

You cringe, suddenly recalling your awkward first attempts at a kiss. How bizarre you felt exposing your bare nakedness to a total stranger. Yes, total stranger because none other than your mother had seen you butt-naked or touched your bare flesh – and that was many years ago when you still relied on her for basic hygiene.

Your fingers trembling and cold sweat breaking out all over your skin, you still your face willing the other to succumb to your Marilyn Munroe act.
Your heart screams louder than a banshee as it senses flaming danger. But the book, the movies, and the music videos concur that he will certainly be powerless and hopelessly head over heels in love with you after a night of passion.

So you ignore the protests within and muster your most seductive acts, concocted by your various romance media idols.

Astonishingly, you succeed in imitating some romance scenes: you channel the look, the slow-motion approach, and the hesitation before lunging violently into deranged groping. Following “the model”, you rush through intercourse which too soon ends, leaving a bitter-sour aftertaste in its wake

The greatest frustration of our time is the insane pursuit of illusions over reality.

Before free access to erotic and pornographic media, a romantic relationship was a revered sacred affair. Young lovers enjoyed the freedom of love’s untainted discovery and exploration. They had no template for the perfect kiss or touch and thus came to love’s threshold unburdened by judgment. They liberally used their pure imagination to create unique special moments through trial and error while learning to distinguish between what is humanly possible and outrageous monkey acrobatics.

Romance novels, movies, and music create a falsehood of reality. Tragically, many a fool believes and expects these make-believe depictions to operate in real life.

I was once one such a fool. It was only after several heartbreaks, frustration, and despair that I started to question the romance of the media’s formula, which always seemed to end in disaster for me.

The truth is, any attempt to overlay expertly crafted, rehearsed, and edited scenes and scripts of a one hundred eighty minute role play to real life is not only severely delusional but topically hazardous. Anyone who adapts their life in this way is bound for wreckage, and all in their sphere will exist maimed, severely damaged, or dead within, though appearing alive and well without. Such a person must avoid relationships, or be avoided as a candidate for a relationship, at all costs.

The anguish of real-life heartbreak, dashed hopes, and heart disillusionment is unspeakable. Healing from a heart wounded by love’s false image takes several years. It is better to prevent this fracturing at all costs than suffer loss.

Romantic media and real-life relationships are worlds apart.
This would seem obvious but due to our great ignorance and the powers of craft and script to deform logic, it is necessary to mention that romantic content makers spend numerous hours conceptualizing, writing, and scripting the manuscript, motion picture, or lyric video.

Media creators hire Professional Role Players (PRPs) to play out the roles of a script’s fictitious characters. These PRPs, better known as actors, actresses, and models spend the equivalent of many hours as top corporate executives at work rehearsing their lines, gestures, and expressions to perfection. Such a process is unheard of in natural authentic interaction, let alone romantic relationships.

There simply is no practicality or sensibility in attempting to match PRP preparation — notwithstanding, the recipient of such a rehearsal would not have the script you’ve been rehearsing, by which your performance would come across as pretty odd.

When actors meet, they meet at prepared locations where built sets with the perfect props create perfect environments. Furthermore, carefully selected soundtracks enhance and heighten each scene and set’s atmosphere.

Alas, in real life, conversation (this is what speech in real life is called, as opposed to “lines”) is awfully difficult. Half the time you have no idea what the other person is going to say the next moment.

I suspect movies have produced the now-common dysfunction of being in conversation while not really paying attention to what is being said but trying to predict and rehearse what you will say next (your comeback), while the other speaks.

Moreover, in real life, we work with what is and what we have. We may try to create romantic dinner sets but even then we are restricted by what is within our means and reach. There is no soundtrack and perfect lighting. Seldom are there perfectly corresponding arrivals at coffeehouses.

The impromptu nature of real-life relationships demands real-time response. The perilously adventurous journey of a relationship is the training ground for mastering meaningful and purposeful, fulfilling interaction, conversation, and experience.

Real life happens in real time but if you choose to show up in life with your head buried in fallacies, eventually you will lift your head to see how time has passed you by and how wrecked your real life has become from neglect.

When entering a real-life relationship (I suppose it is needful to note here that a real relationship does not include any online interaction between avatars) it is vital to observe these key principles: approach both the institution and person with holy reverence, and repent, erase, and uproot all presumption and assumptions insidiously planted in your soul by pop culture media. This takes time.

Due to the nature of real relationships consisting of ever-evolving individuals with complicated histories and personalities, stages in a relationship take a long time– and like all worthwhile things, they should take a long while to develop.

Naturally, organic development requires great patience, perseverance, sacrifice, acceptance, and wisdom – which come from years of trial, error, testing, and triumph.

Popular culture media, however, falsely portray that one can hop from lover to lover as frogs from pebbles. Sooner or later, the hopping frog will land on the slipperiest stone and be crushed wholly to dust.

But to know real love is only possible by adherence to its evolutional laws. Real love must have patience and perseverance. Real love must not be rude or self-seeking.

Romantic tales that zip through to jungle-like groping and humping promote and endorse impatience and rude handling of sacred things for personal selfish gratification.

“Quick, let’s get to that cookie and gobble it up so we can feel good.”

It doesn’t matter that it’s irreverent sacrilege to invade private property and ransack its temple. Any sensible human can see how such behavior reduces the perpetrator to bestiality.

The Real Lover, however, suffers no haste.

He is painstakingly courteous, careful to not trespass the holy ground that is a whole life. He gently pursues the beloved, desiring to acquaint himself well with the outer courts and duly draw near to the inner court. He reveres the holy of holiest and would not presume to think on its glory absent invitation, and this too in due time.

For a real relationship to be successful, both love seekers ought to exercise great care, restraint, and integrity to refrain from reaching beyond their station.

Getting to know the person’s whole history is an extinct trait of corrupted courting in modern times, given that most people cannot even bear to wait for “the point” or their turn to speak in brief conversations. 

But the real lover commits to studying their subject’s personality, paying acute attention to discern and understand the explicit and implicit maxims and traits of the beloved. Therefore real love acquires acceptance and sacrifice.

 In real love once we are sure of the worth of our prospecting and would proceed with forever after, it is appropriate – in fact, it is imperative to accept our treasure unconditionally.

This should not provoke much pain as perseverance in the former stages of careful courtship ought to have secured our maturity, and dealt with all that could hinder the full embrace of our beloved.

Real relationships hinge not on the parties’ perfections remaining intact. Instead, they depend on the gracious reception of imperfections and faithful restoration toward perfection. This means we love the person as they are, for who they are, and help them grow to become the best version of themselves over a lifetime.

It is easier to grow and do life when you have only yourself to mind, but to be in a real relationship requires that you lay down large portions of your time and energy for your friend.

Where once you’d think of making only a single meal, now you should think of two meals. Where once you spend your time thinking only of your interests, now you must think of another’s interests, and what’s best for the union. Where once you splurged on yourself, now you must carefully curate meaningful gifts, gestures and adventures for your beloved, and for the union.

Indeed it is sweetest when both friends are equally yoked to this virtuous pursuit. And it is terribly burdensome when one lags or neglects his share of the load.

Often many ‘would be successful’ real relationships crumble on account of the lovers abandoning their duty to the union. When you have taken the honor of an invitation to the holy of holies, it is only right that you continually excel in offering right and pleasing sacrifices for love’s sake. This is the duty of all who would partake of love, the wisdom of love worthy of all consideration.

Wisdom is justified and vindicated by her deeds and comes by acts of knowledge, experience, and understanding, yet countless love affairs have suffered abortion and untimely executions for lack of sound knowledge on the matter of love.

Love is not a weed that sprouts with the dew, and springs up at noon only to dry out and wither by evening!

Love is like a tree, planted from seed, and painstakingly nurtured until it produces its lush juicy fruit. Behold, it is said that some fruit trees may not bear fruit five to fifteen years after the seed has been planted! In my experience, I have witnessed this to be true.

Very early into my love affair, we encountered several years of storms, draughts, and frigid winters resulting primarily from transgressing the authorized occupation of love, and then from being sifted to determine if we have what it takes to voyage with love. I often think about the countless times I sought to jump ship or uproot the fledgling seedling and seek better ground. Many years in, we continue to labor for love that one day it should bear for us the lush juicy fruit rewards assured for those who diligently work for it.

A popular Chinese proverb says: “The best time to plant a tree was twenty years ago. The second best time is now.” May this adage bring you peace and patience when growing pains of all kinds come to pass in your pursuit of a lasting love affair.

When next you hear or see firecracker infatuations or are tempted to forsake your orchard, may the knowledge that your love labor is never in vain light the way of your heart.

Always keep in mind that achieving blockbuster love and romance in real life comes only at the great cost of continuous tedious toil and massive effort. There are no end credits, while life remains.

If you would enjoy the real fruit of true love, make wisdom your principal thing, because wisdom guards and keeps real relationships on course, till mortal love gives way to Love Eternal.

Of all love’s possessions, the greatest love must demonstrate honor and be swift to give it where it is due.

As such, here’s a toast in honor of the Author of Love🥂

Real relationships are complicated delicate obstacle courses that vastly different individuals aim to successfully navigate without tumbling to their doom.

God created relationships – and specifically marriage. But pop culture media through human and demonic wisdom have corrupted the context and defiled the purpose of the union between man and woman thereby misleading many blind ignorant people off heart-shattering cliffs.

In God’s ultimate real-life romance script, a man leaves his father and mother and becomes united to his wife in a covenant union. Besides the grander plot, a crucial purpose of covenant union is to protect male and female hearts and bodies from the crushing aftermath of partaking in forbidden love.

Unlike manmade romance where all the focus is on sentiments and sensations, the ultimate real-life romance script sees beyond the temporary frivolous interests of mankind’s biology and sin, towards the joy awaiting them and posterity when the fruit of love blooms and is ripe for the harvest table.

Countless times I wish I had not partaken in forbidden love. I wish I had come to Love’s harvest table with my whole heart intact, and my body unsullied. I often fantasize about what such a love may be. At many points, I have despaired in regret. Regret that I followed worldly, human, and demonic wisdom in books, films, and songs. I’ve loathed myself for trading purity and chastity for the flickering satisfaction of my deceitful fleshly lusts. I cannot compute the anguish I’ve suffered for paradise, lost.

But God is gracious and merciful. Despite our incredible foolishness to always trade our inheritance for lentil soup and paradise for a bite of deadly fruit, we are not condemned.

“It is because of the LORD’s loving-kindnesses that we are not consumed Because His [tender] compassions never fail. They are new every morning; Great and beyond measure is Your faithfulness.”

When we are in despair and at the end of ourselves, drowning in the guilt and shame of our mistakes, we can find comfort in this exhortation and resolve to make better God obeying choices every morning that we find ourselves not bound for the gallows but are graced with life. Given a love like His, we must determine to forsake all other suits and offers and make it our ambition to requite Him with all our heart, soul, and strength.

xoxo

Nimi

“Keep it secret. Keep it safe.”

This strange line from Peter Jackson’s rendition of J.R.R Tolkien’s The Lord of the Rings is a favorite of mine. For a long while, I felt silly that I cherished this peculiar poetry until its wisdom unraveled in my meditation on the power, purpose, and pain of accepting responsibility.

Have you ever had something very precious to care for and guard as though your life depended on it? I must admit that I have lived most of my life with rags and trinkets, things I couldn’t have cared less if I lost or chucked them. Moreover, I grew up in places and spaces where life itself was wasted along dirt roads and gutters, and I was raised at a time when the life of a girl child deflated the strength of men’s hopeful expectations.

I have lived in places and with people who scorn the treasure of a human heart in favor of mocking and cruelly handling its delicate matters. In all these things, I have come to learn that our concept and perception of value determines how we act, behave, and care about the objects and subjects we ascribe value and worthlessness.

When something or someone is of great value, the wise person takes care to insure and protect the integrity of the precious object or subject. Therefore, in Lord of the Rings, it was wise for Gandalf to impress on young Frodo to keep secret and keep safe the valuable and highly sought-after object in his charge.

What is value and worth anyway?

There is a saying that beauty is in the eye of the beholder. I have come to love this saying because it transfers great power to me.

In a world among people who callously desecrate the value of human life for comparably worthless things like money and power, retaining reverence for human beings, is the beginning of life transformation for the individual and humanity as a whole.

The environments I’ve traversed sought, and for some time succeeded in persuading me that I was at the mercy of events, persons, and narratives that rendered me helpless and always wanting. Yet, I am discovering that dependency and helplessness are illusions seductively spun before us, in the hope that we fall head over heels into their voids. When we choose to believe them as truths, we are undone, and our lives are forfeit.

Nonetheless, as long as we still have breath, we are always able to recover our lives and rebuild the ruins of our resignation.

The road to recovery and reconstruction of our lives according to our chosen design is paved with steep effort. Perhaps this is why it is easier to abdicate the task to the puppeteering of others and the frailty of a negligent and slug character. Very few people embark on the long traipse to freedom, and fewer still complete the pilgrimage. But to the devoted, the prize is peace.

When we are not in the firm keep of ourselves, we suffer constant self-consciousness and fear of man and the evil one. The alternative is a life exuding serene confidence and steadfastness.

Becoming your own person’s keeper demands a very high price, and there are no sales, discounts, or freebies. The seeker of this power must fully commit to paying the full price, and then some. There is no other way.

The irony is that we are all in fact our own keepers, or at least this is who we are defined to be as humans. But alas, we have abdicated our responsibility and thereby forfeited all the rights that accrue.

Being a keeper of oneself means taking up ownership of caring, nurturing, and governing your whole life. No one else can nor will do this for you. Only you and you alone can decide to take up full responsibility for your whole life. This is akin to what Christ means by “take up your cross.”

When meditating on this phrase of Christ, I was graced with the insight that not even The Christ will pick up your cross for you!

This stunning reveal radically turned my life right-side-up.

In some “Christian” circles, feeble souls languish in miserable lives waiting for Jesus to swoop in and pluck them from this or that. But this mindset expands to other circles: women waiting for a man, the poor waiting for the rich or governments or politics or handouts, blacks waiting for whites….sigh.

Ultimately, when these foolish hopes come to desolation, these souls resign in blasphemy that their miserable condition must be God’s portion – their cross to bear. What a wicked tragedy.

In the beginning, when God created mankind, He charged us with dominion: the responsibility to govern, produce, multiply, and replenish beauty, order, abundance, and love in our personal lives and our shared environments. To desert this command is the bane of all our ills, and to repent is our salvation.

Every single human bears the command to keep his or her life well such that it can safely flourish in the exponential order ordained by the King of kings. As such, we must relinquish the folly of blame-shifting, pity-partying, and entitlement in favor of the truth that we are to pick up our cross, take our lives into our own hands, and make them glorious demonstrations of the God in whose image we were made.

When I relented and took up the mantle of a Keeper, my most important and toilsome task was tilling my mind. This involved uprooting every false imprinting concerning my value, the worth of my life, and the powers I wield.

As I continually change my mind about my value and life’s worth and align it to God’s valuation, I awaken to diligent safekeeping: of my thoughts, because they are the seeds; of my emotions, because they are the fertilizer; and of my words, because they are the creative force that brings about the abundant life that I desire, or destruction, decay, and death – which I abhor.

Moreover, I am getting mega kicks out of learning to rule well in my personal life, my relationships, and my work. I sometimes groan as to why I let it take so long before I rose to the station God ascribed for me. I may never be Duchess in the known mortal kingdoms but, I don’t need to be. God has crowned every human with glory and honor.

Indeed the environments and cultures we are born and grow into teach us to diminish and despise what the Creator of the universe has decreed. Nevertheless, anyone who would consider the wisdom of God superior to all other wisdoms, can become a keeper and reign in life as God intended.

Although it was agonizing at first, learning to take more and more responsibility for my life is growing to be an exhilarating obsession. The more responsibility I embrace, the more power I have to choose and design the person I want to become and the life I want to have.

Like with the “precious” ring of power in LOTR, I have also become aware of the many distractions that vie for my devotion. Therefore I must keep my precious mind and heart safe and in sharp focus on the truth and responsibility I have come to know, which is that I am the Keeper of my life.

And so are you –

Whether you accept or abdicate, your birthright is royalty, and royals rule and govern.

Having lived too long as a civilian, I understand and know it will be wrenching to unlearn and rehabilitate from commoner thoughts and ways. Yet, after a little while, you will sample the glory and distinguishedness, of being the image – a son or daughter – of the Most High God.

May you be amenable to pick up your cross, your Keeper mantle, and reign in life.

xoxo

Nimi

Do you like being wrong?

Even if you said you do or don’t mind it, the truth is that no one likes being wrong. We are inherently narcissistic, egotistic, and detestably haughty. The mortal danger of this lethal concoction is that it presents itself as an innocent lamb, a good-for-your self-confidence, self-esteem, self-worth elixir when in truth, it is a devouring parasite to your soul.

These deadly traits come built into every human but if the newborn is graced and trained up with wisdom and understanding, they enjoy the juicy abundance of life and the world with ease and joy. But alas, most of us have less than-ideal upbringings, therefore this foolishness is tightly bound up in our young hearts. As such, these monsters grow with us, feeding off us to gain power over us with the sole aim of taking over us completely and erasing us from life through cunning deceptions that steal, destroy, and ultimately kill our lives.

Perhaps you would never consider yourself to be afflicted with narcissism because you’ve been labeled or labeled yourself as a loser, with low self-esteem and nonexistent confidence. Surely you’re not egotistic, you may feel and think you’re virtually invisible and your oppressively timid, self-effacing awkward manner that scurries away from the limelight in humiliation has nothing to do with pride. So did I, until I pondered the concept of inferior narcissism, egoism, and pride.

A narcissist is a person who has an excessive interest in or admiration of themselves, an egoist is a self-centered, selfish, arrogantly conceited person and a haughty person is arrogantly superior and disdainful. Conversely, an inferior narcissist is a person who has an excessive interest in debasing themselves; an inferior egoist is a self-centered, self-absorbed, stubbornly self-loathing person; and an inferior haughty person is bitterly scornful and disparaging.

In and of ourselves, we cannot vividly see any of these parasites – or commonly known as character or personality flaws, and negative attitudes that silently suck the wellness and wholeness from our souls, transforming us into wraiths who eventually cannot bear to dwell among the living.

The truth is, absolutely no human can know all things perfectly therefore we are wise to consider that we are more likely to be wrong often, and seldom right. But how can we live and interact well in life if we are more wrong than we are right?

We must ask: to find out and know what we do not know, as well as continually assess the completeness and truthfulness of what we think we know, and we must fervently seek: to see what we may be missing in the blind spots of our inadequate perspectives, wisdom, and understanding.

Coming to consider that we are wrong is a noble practice of humility. Therefore, it will not be easy because it demands that we unearth deep-seated beliefs that what and how we see and understand ourselves, life and the people around us is the official way, and unlearn all the assumptions and presumptions we have labored to build.

In chapter twenty-seven verse six of his Proverbs, wise King Solomon declares that “Wounds from a friend can be trusted, but an enemy multiplies kisses.”

Having a trustworthy friend who can love you enough to graciously alert you to your blind spots is a precious gift, but often our egos can get in the way, causing us to reject counsel, rebukes, and correction. In any such case, it is wise to recognize our ego as the enemy that would seek to blind us from access to more wisdom and understanding.

However, if we are desperately loath to hear the truth from others, our best bet is to appoint ourselves a friend to ourselves and commit to ruthless truth-awareness – which is, the continual pursuit of authentic self-awareness, sober judgment of life, and modest discernment towards others.

This would mean being ultra present and alert throughout our day and interactions followed by copious amounts of solitude to intro and retrospect, abstract and process.

Although quite precious, when you find yourself without faithful friends who would speak the truth to you with grace and love, this is the harder and least efficient way. Nevertheless, I should still recommend making every effort to discover a true friend.

In the language of the country where I was born, the proverb goes: “umutw’umwe wifasha gusara”, which when translated means one head helps itself to go mad. I have held a great fondness for the wisdom in this proverb and I believe it has saved me from the many cliffs where I should have plunged to the pits of lunacy.

For the longest time, I thought and saw myself as worthless, inadequate, incapable, and damned. When I glimpsed in the mirror, I saw hideousness that churned my stomach. I saw: too fat, too short, too “Bantu”, too black and disadvantaged, too feisty and radical, too sensual…too sinful.

As long as I held firmly to these thoughts, stubbornly defending and affirming them to myself and others, my life dimmed and shriveled to the point that I hated all of life and craved death, believing it was the only answer or solution to the torment of my tunnel vision.

It wasn’t until I cast pride to hell and asked family, friends, and even strangers for specifics of what they saw in, of, and about me that I awakened to a “me” I was blind to, and this has and continues to make all the difference. I am amazed at how so wrong I have been on all things, and how many more things I know absolutely nothing about, though initially, I postulated through my vain imaginings.

I am seeing the whole truth of me, life, and people: the good, and the evil. the beautiful and the ugly. And this is my superpower! The more truthfully I see and know who I am, what life is and could be, and who people are, the more I can walk into the freedom of the paths naturally marked out for me, and those earnest ones I get to forge on my own.

A lot of our socialization and innate dispositions urge us to be right and do or get things right. Of course, this is not bad in and of itself, except that our aversion to being, doing, or getting things wrong feeds the pride monster within us that robs us of the superpower of repentance.

This is what the Sovereign LORD, the Holy One of Israel, says: “In repentance and rest is your salvation, in quietness and trust is your strength, but you would have none of it.”

Being right all the time is a pointless, wearisome, and deadly yoke but conceding to the fact that we could be – and more often than not are – wrong empowers us to change our minds.

Our minds thrive from the agility and expansion that comes from curiosity, new knowledge, and wisdom. But if we are fixated on being right, we become stifled and frustrated in an ever-changing, growing world.

Like magnifying glasses, our thoughts and feelings greatly affect what we focus on to the exclusion of all else. Oftentimes we obsess over ideas about ourselves, life, the world, and people, even to the point of temptation to self-destruct or nihilism.

I wonder what could be if we would pause, breathe, and muster the courage to consider that there’s got to be more than we are seeing, more that we could know and more that could be, and so much more we can become.

In my experience of going from scandalous self-righteous deception to this meek place, I commend that it is far better to ever be wrong than to be destroyed and harm many others in the wake of our illusion of omniscience.

Embracing and growing to accept the stacked odds that we are more likely to be wrong is perhaps the most right thing we can do daily to enjoy life’s dynamic ebbs and flows, and highs and lows with ease, joy, and light-hearted peaceful contentment.

Of this, I’m pretty sure I am right 😉

xoxo

Nimi

Is this you?

“…like someone who looks at his face in a mirror and, after looking at himself, goes away and immediately forgets what he looks like.”

Maybe it’s just me. But in the splendid event that you can relate to what I am about to share, let me just say this has got to be the most frustrating, close to dementing affliction anyone can endure.

Mirrors. I’m still not very fond of them and I am still fascinated by people who can spend hours in front of them while painting their faces or sculpting their bodies at the gym. For me, it’s a tool where I quickly scan myself to verify that my clothes and visage are somewhat presentable.

What bothers me about a mirror is that as soon as I step away from it, I have no memory or abstraction of the details of my face and body; therefore when I am interacting in the world, my mind races to discern whether what and who the observer sees is pleasing and acceptable in their sight. This gets me into an internal frenzy as I frantically conjure compensation in behavior and speech, just in case my appearance is wanting.

They say ghosts and vampires have no reflection in a mirror and this is how this affliction made me feel and caused me to show up in the world. Until one day when a whisper notion prompted me to linger a little longer in front of that unnerving reflector and pause to just look at her.

After a few seconds of looking, I wept so hard for reasons I couldn’t bother to grasp at the time. When I finally gathered myself and continued to look into her eyes, I felt the sheepish awkwardness that comes with first meetings. And then I felt terror at the weight and condemnation of my neglect of knowing her, who has been my ever-present companion! This realization troubled me so, that I became obsessed with understanding its many facets.

My search led me to the phenomenon of sleepwalking. According to science, sleepwalking is a sleep disorder where a person, while asleep, performs activities that are usually performed during a state of full consciousness. Although the walker’s eyes are open in this state, their expression is dim and glazed over. Wow. This description gripped me to my core because from it my whole world began to unravel.

In Peter Jackson’s magnificent motion picture rendition of J.R.R. Tolkien’s The Lord of the Rings: The Two Towers, Grima Wormtongue, chief advisor King Théoden of Rohan exploits his dark lord Saruman’s spells that have seized the king’s mind turning his whole expression dim and glazed over, Wormtongue then steers the king to effect the bidding of the evil lord. No doubt LOTR remains a magnificent trilogy in all history and this moment in The Two Towers was profound in my understanding of our – I say collectively in the hope that I am not alone in this – affliction.

If you’d told me some years back that I was a sleepwalker, I would have scoffed at you and thrown in a dirty glare for good measure. Before you swiftly dismiss what I am setting up here, imagine this: A random stranger, an acquaintance, a close friend or a relative walks up to you and greets you with “Hey you, what the hell’s wrong with you?”. How would you feel? I wager at least indignation, offense, disorientation, anger, self-consciousness [fill your set in here]. Yet each time I glanced at myself in a mirror, this was the greeting I offered myself.

One of the causes of my aversion to mirrors was a response to adolescent trauma, where I could not bear to see the gross puss-filled zits that adorned my face, neck, and sometimes chest while the other girls sported smooth radiant glowing portraits! Seeing myself became utterly repulsive so I gave it up altogether. Subsequently, I began to forget the details of my face and body to the point where I would not see myself even though I glanced at or scanned myself in a mirror. As such, my affliction was born. I would look at myself in the mirror and as soon as I turned away, I felt ghostly.

Through my many self-study sessions, I am constantly discovering that personal obscurity is one of the cognitive giants that can menace and derail our life experience and enjoyment. I now believe that the root of our distress in this regard sprouts from our transgressing the assumed principle of self-love in the second greatest commandment:

“And the second is like it: ‘Love your neighbor as yourself.’”

To love my neighbor requires that I love myself, but how can I love myself if I am obscured to myself? To love me demands that I see, hear, and know myself with unconditional compassion, attentiveness, and responsibility. But if I cannot bear to take a look at myself in the mirror, how can I see others as they truly are, not as projections of my vain imaginings?

The great Gandhi and King of Pop both implore us to do this simple yet infinitely hard work that is necessary for the enjoyment of life in God’s good world abundantly and with the wholeness of spirit, soul, and body. In personal development, this concept is widely known as self-awareness. On the surface, it seems so obvious but my experience teaches me that it is one of the more profound activities we could invest, or waste, our time on. Either way, it is a very important work for the human who would awaken from the sleepwalking we engage in when we are oblivious of our very selves.

The day I relented to the whisper was both excruciating and initiating. There and then, I embarked on putting my hand on the plow, and my life has transformed in so many wonderful ways. Where I once yearned for other people to see me, know me, hear me, and help me I now understood that this would never be possible unless I was willing to do those very things for her. For me.

It’s been many days since I stood before a mirror and looked her straight in the eyes, awkwardly, fearfully, and tentatively whispered “Hello.”

Slowly but surely I advanced to:

“Hello there. Nice to meet you.”

“You are so beautiful, to me. You’re everything I wanted, you’re everything I need. You are so beautiful… to me.”

“My love. I see you. I am sorry I have ignored and neglected you even though you’re the only one who has always been with me”

“So, my love, there are some things I feel like I’m wanting but that’s what I’ve always focused on. What do you want? Is there anything you need me to do and be for you?”

“I am for you.” I recently whispered, with my arms wrapped around our body.

Of course, self-awareness encounters are more in-depth and thrilling lifelong adventures than my near-manic personal displays of affection but a deliberate lavish peruse in a mirror at you, in all your “fearfully and wonderfully made” glory may be just what your hurting soul needs more than anything else in the world right now.

You are worth being seen, known, and heard — at the very least by you. Take a look at you now, and discover loving you at first sight.

xoxo

Nimi

For many days I’ve been laying in this spot in the fetal position.

Until a few days ago, I purposely made sure to control the world around me with precision, whatever the means. Now as I lay here I am resembling the least in-control life stage of humanity. Of course, infants are astonishingly controlling but we forgive them for they do not know what they do. But I have been acutely aware every time I’ve cunningly maneuvered for control.

Therefore, while in this space I have been commanded to resist every temptation to perpetuate my witchcraft. You could say I’ve been grounded in the last few days. But I asked for it. I just didn’t know it would be this harrowing.

All my life I’ve been the kind of person who hated surprises, imperfections, interruptions, disruptions, disorder, and just about anything that did not go my way. I even preempted disappointments so that I could control unpleasant future events. In personality tests, I scored pessimist ratings which I contested on account of my conviction that there was no point in expecting miracles that I had no hand in manifesting.

Unbeknownst to me, I was living out the fallacy of control. This was my affliction. Along my healing process from this terrorizing disease, I realize there are so many who are like me: living half lives because they want to be sure about everything and everyone; because they want to live as a god but are mere humans.

Confronting my God complex has got to be the hardest thing I’ve willingly subjected myself to but the freedom I now know and have counted for everything. Like me, most people are driven by a maddening craving to know it all and be sure of it all but truly, life only has uncertainty to offer at every turn.

Can we really ever be sure about anything or anyone? If we cannot even be sure of our very selves, how can we be sure of anything outside our sphere, let alone influence those things in the appropriate ways that only Omniscience can?

Can you relate to feeling like you carry the weight of the world and people’s welfare on the shoulders of your heart? Perhaps you have been the person everyone knows to call or come to whenever they need or want something, be it money, time, energy, talent, or presence. The cunning of biting these baits is that fairly instantly you begin to enjoy the position of “savior”. For a time it feels good and feeds your ego, even though you may do it with a martyr disposition.

There is something about being, or thinking that we are needed and necessary for other’s progress, even existence that gorges our inner grandiosity monster to the point that the once “helpful” angel transforms into a manipulative tyrant who believes nothing can be done unless they do it, and if another does that thing the effort falls short of the glory it could have, done by “the savior of worlds and persons.” Such dispositions end up heaping colossal pressure on themselves and exasperation for their unfortunate captive audiences.

I shudder to recount this version of myself. Indeed, no man can have all that power! The consequence of my God complex was frequent burnout, nervous breakdowns, and all-out total systems crashing. But praise be to God, the Father of our Lord and Savior Jesus Christ who in His great mercy called me to lay down the burden which in gross pride, I’d presumed unauthorized bearing.

At the root of a God complex are insecurity and the inability to embrace and navigate the reality of life’s inevitable uncertainties. The main activity of life in this realm revolves around creating spaces and relationships that serve our core need for security. So, it is natural to feel overwhelmed by the tempestuous unknowable nature of our environments and people therein. So, if we cannot have surety of things and persons in life, how do we successfully navigate through life in quietness and trust?

Like ships sailing across treacherous seas, we need a sure thing to moor our ships steadily and safely to the exit shore on the opposite end of our boarding dock. Every solitary ship that enters the seas of life must solely bear the responsibility of determining and engaging their sure thing, wisely acknowledging that though there are many anchors on offer, many have value but not all their value is created equal.

Hope. A sure anchor for the soul of every wandering bark upon the seas of life. Without hope, life loses meaning and without meaning, our lives swiftly and steadily sink to the abyss, often through various forms of self-destruction. Because we have no control over any of the significant facts of life, we need a definite hope wherein we can surrender complete entrusting of our own and our loved ones’ wellbeing.

Such an anchor must surpass our ability in omniscience, omnipresence, and omnipotence while holding perfect goodwill for its vessels. Frankly only One Anchor in all history of life past, present, and future is unrivaled and equal to such lofty requirements.

Before selling all out to Jesus, The Christ of God, I had tried and tested several hopes but my heart never settled into the peaceful rhythms of grace I now enjoy. Whenever storms in relationships, finances, identity and the inescapable looming monster of existential crisis crashed upon me, I gurgled, drowning and sinking in hopelessness and helplessness.

But God, the Master of the seas heard my despairing cry and brought me into His glorious salvation, which is the anchor to my soul. When I consider the meaning of a child born into this world to encounter the evil of humanity’s rebellious reign, only to perish at Grim Reaper’s sickle all seems utterly meaningless, but for the hope in the finished work and plan of El Shaddai, the Faithful One.

Throughout the Holy Scriptures, God keeps His Word, which history has seen in the flesh. As promised the Christ of God came and dwelt among humanity as a human, died according to God’s foretelling, and rose from the dead also according to God’s Word so that whosoever believes in the holy Christ of God will live their lives in the only sure hope that stands all tests of all times. Having fulfilled His Word by the raising of Christ from the dead, we are sure that He will fulfill His Word to bring about the new heaven and earth where those found with His seal, anchored in His Hope, have eternal life.

Conviction in the assured future life in the kingdom of God settles the insecure heart that would otherwise labor to save their lives by grasping at controlling situations and persons.

Hope in God’s faithfulness anchors in the present also because we know that He is working all things out in conformity to His good and perfect will. Therefore, as we encounter storms, trials, and the senseless evils of life, relationship, ourselves, and strangers, we can choose to trust in the sovereignty, justice, and love of God, who upholds and maintains and propels all things [the entire physical and spiritual universe] by His powerful word [carrying the universe along to its predetermined goal]. (Hebrews 1:3 AMP).

This abandoned trust requires humility of changing our minds (repentance) from the hubris notions we hold dear about our abilities and intentions, and instead recognize that we are mere humans burdened with infinite physical and spiritual limitations. Through this repentance, we find security and rest… if we would have it. As we rest secure, our hearts quieten to perceive the mighty hand of God preeminently maneuvering cosmic and heavenly realms towards perfect Love’s end.

So, as my grounding comes to an end, my limbs uncurl and I feel the weight of the world light from the shoulders of my heart as I heave a gutsy sigh: I am not God.

At once my soul is freed and longs to soar, knowing I am in the Good Faithful Hands that hold the whole world and all who live in it.  

For the longest time, I have been frantic aboard Ship, dreading the next storm or turbulence, until I sold everything I counted for anything for the sake of Christ, my only Hope. Now and then when the waves crash and I fear I should perish, I need only go into the quiet of the stern and find Jesus sleeping therein, at rest. I smile at the grace that finds me here in the heart of a sure thing.

The resurrection of Jesus Christ can oftentimes fly over our heads yet it is an inexhaustible profound hope for the human soul that is haunted by the shadow of death. The hope in Christ’s resurrection and promise of similar resurrection for all who believe in and receive Him is the Good News of God for humanity which enables the heart to relent and rest in the assurance that suffering in this realm is not all there is, and death on this plane is not the end.

As a recovering exasperating usurper, there are no adequate words to express what the hope of Christ and hope in His accomplishment for humanity has done for me but I can witness to disencumbering of my soul and a new life in the peace of mind, soul and spirit that transcends all understanding.

When we have carried a heavy burden for the longest time, we have no concept of what our life would be if the burden were lifted. Moreover, we tend to develop dysfunctional loyalty to those things that leech the love, joy, and peace of living in the land of the living. Yet, we have the option to severe undue loyalties, cast aside the pride of our ignorance, and our fear of death in favor of having a life to the full, now into eternity.

The hard truth is that no one else – not even God – can make any decision for us. We must unwaveringly choose to pick up our cross daily. Once we do, the good news is that God grants us the grace and power to endure the pain of severing ourselves from all delusion and false god pursuits so we can see and taste the goodness of His steadfast love and reign of righteousness, peace, and joy

This must be, hands down, the most surely good thing! I know it is, for I have sampled, and then given away everything I had to buy this one sure thing: Hope in Christ Jesus.

xoxo

Nimi

If all else perished, and he remained, I should still continue to be; and if all else remained, and he were annihilated, the universe would turn to a mighty stranger.

Emily Jane Bronte // Wuthering Heights

When I encountered Emily Bronte’s words, I initially ascribed them to a mortal love but as the years progressed, the weight of his mortality oppressed my heart and I would feel utterly hopeless and helpless as to the purpose of continuing to allow my heart to grow larger and desperately attached to him. I would think how absolutely wrecked I should be if he indeed were annihilated, perishing at the Grim Reaper’s sickle. Nevertheless, I couldn’t help my heart’s meshing in him and his life, as day by day he would still be. Therefore my fear of losing him faded away as the bliss of life with him flourished. Until one day, without warning or premonition, the unthinkable happened and my universe turned into a black hole.

As we neatly put his body into the ground, I couldn’t help but hear the whisper in my spirit telling me that this too was my destiny. At the time, I would have gladly stepped down into the hole and been covered with him by a blanket of earth. But I was left with the misfortune of staggering in the dark, absent his life and light.

The idea, nay, the fact that one day I will vanish from existence plagued me for many years hereafter. Part of me welcomed the thought of an end to meaningless meandering, but another was gripped in death’s terror clasp and raged to remain in the land of the living, far from what I perceived as ruthless banishment to a cold solitary hell, confined to the torment of insects and worms heartily feeding on my body parts.

Having grown up in a Pastor’s home, I was aware of the concepts of heaven and hell. Many well-meaning sermons grasped to comfort grieving souls soothing that we would meet our loved ones one day. But how long should we live in the dark night of terror till that day? How many more must go before this one day comes? Where are our loved ones while we wait for this day? Would I go to the same waiting place when my time comes?

Death, the relentless thief of hope and joy in life, is certainly a horror that terrifies us all to the point of complete despair. So, we neatly stash the monster in the depths of our mind’s closet where we hope it should remain quiet as we flurry about our living. However as the sands steadily trickle through the hourglass that’ll eventually signal the reaper’s herald from the closet, we cannot help being disheartened by the inescapable pesky poking.

Consumed by the anxiety of death, I embarked on studying the various narratives humanity has embraced about what happens when we die. All of them, but one, left me hopelessly dispirited. This was not useful for the business of continuing to live that was my lot, so I denounced the many for the sake of devoting myself to knowing the one way that quickened my heart back to the light of life.

When I was younger, there was a chorus my father taught us during family worship. It claimed that Someone whose being alive and ownership of the future gave reason for the singer to face tomorrow, abolish all fear, and make life worth living. This notion was worth consideration for me, thereby beginning my radical pursuit of the Way, the Truth, and the Life

For more than two thousand years, multitudes of humanity have held to the claim of life after death because of the life, death, and resurrection of Jesus, The Christ. Some also attempt to debate, refute, or present substitutes. Many of the latter seek to convince us absolutely, even though their arguments are unfounded and really vain, if the hearer would apply their mind to consider simply concerning the basics of the history of the world, humanity, and their own conscience.

I give thanks to God the Father of our Lord Jesus Christ through whose grace I have been brought into the knowledge and freedom of the Good News! As I continue to watch and grasp the simple truth of the Gospel of God’s grace and love, my life flows with peace and exuberant joy for what is to come in the life hereafter.

According to the Holy Scripture, God has foretold His epic plan to correct the mess humanity has made with and in His good world. In the fullness of time, history was split at the arrival of Jesus Christ, the Son of God. Jesus Christ was the only One with the will and nobility to effect God’s plan to do away with sin (humanity’s inherited evil nature) and death (the wage for humanity’s evil nature) once and for all through His sacrificial love culminating in His death on that rugged shameful cross.

When Jesus Christ rose from the dead, he emphatically proclaimed and called to anyone who wants: “Believe, and have eternal life!”

Moreover, when he rose from the dead, over five hundred previously dead people who’d died while in the faith of God, I AM, were also raised to life as proof, encouragement, and comfort to His future followers that the resurrection promised in the Holy written Word of God is certain; not as disembodied spirits but as a transformed physical new humanity.

I am also coming to understand that leaving this current life through death is in fact transitioning to be with Christ Jesus.

In Luke chapter twenty-three verse forty-two, one of the thieves crucified next to Jesus asks Jesus to remember him when He comes into His kingdom and Jesus answers him: “Truly I tell you, today you will be with me in paradise.”

Paul in Philippians chapter one verse twenty-three expresses his feeling of being torn in two, where on the one hand he “desires to depart and be with Christ, which is much better.” This understanding continues to cement my faith in the promise that death is not the end but rather the beginning of the fullness of living physically in the kingdom of perfect righteousness, peace, and joy!

What great hope! How gloriously happy I now feel for the loved ones who have gone and are now living with Christ. And indeed they are alive because God is the God of the living and Jesus Christ is alive in accordance with verified historical records, and witnesses.

No longer do I have to be in doubt of the state of my present and future because, though all else may perish – including my existence in this realm – He remains! Therefore I should continue to be, as should all who choose to wholeheartedly receive, recognize, and appropriate the invitation by Christ Jesus to eternal life in the kingdom of God.

With this knowledge, why wouldn’t we all stampede to grab this scandalous invitation? Well, I consider that perhaps the value we place on life is not as high as we think.

Would we really want life to continue forever? Understandably, as it is in the realm of humanity’s seized autonomy, it is unthinkable to live forever with pain, broken relationships, and all the suffering we know. But what if we could finally believe God, that unlike us, He is the only Ruler whose reign is void of harm and suffering but instead is perfect justice, mercy, righteousness, peace, love, and joy? Would life then be worth living for eternity?

Few things in life are absolutely awful, namely: pain, suffering, evil, and death. Many things in life are wonderful: love, beauty, order, goodness, and meaningful contribution and participation in fruitful work. God’s promise in Christ Jesus is the redemption of life in conformity to His good and perfect will. Consequently, the former things we know of life will pass away in the dawn of the new creation and establishment of God’s autonomy.

I am fully persuaded I should very much love to continue enjoying the wonderful things of life under the rule of the perfectly good autonomy of God the Father of my Lord Jesus Christ.

When all else ultimately perishes, would you like to continue living? Would you consider being part of the Kingdom of God?

xoxo

Nimi

I have loved you one thousand nine hundred and eighty-nine years before you arrived here and, I have known you completely since eternity began. I know someday you will believe me when I say I am the only one with the will to love you, all.

For most of my life Maslow’s hierarchy of needs told me that my primary needs were physiological but the older and wiser I become, I am seeing that man indeed shall not live by bread alone.

I have come to hold that a human is not merely a physical being but is in fact a spiritual being having a physical experience. Yet much of my human life so far has been spent on catering to physical needs, wants, and whims while my spirit, the real me, shriveled to the edge of total destruction. I’ve heard mothers and fathers specify love for children demonstrated through feeding and sheltering, clothing, and educating. While all these things are important, they are still catering to the physical experience, and more often, many people’s physical needs are sated but inside the true being is famished.

Love is the food, shelter, and clothing for the spirit being, our true selves. Every human sooner or later becomes compelled to seek out love supplements. No matter how well parents, friends, and lovers may endeavor to satisfy our spirit’s hunger and thirst, like empty genetically modified foods, man cannot satisfy the spirit’s insatiable demand for pure and whole love. Unsated, man forages for substitutes that may fill the aching hole in the heart, until in the end, he resigns to the torment of never knowing the sweet satiety of being fully known and loved.

The popular phrase “money makes the world go around” has never sat well with me. Sure, I understand that money is an essential thing in life but the truth, I believe is that Love makes the world go around and is the quintessential sustenance for humanity to flourish in extraordinary ways, yet unknown.

In all history, there has been one person who demonstrated the power of love to propel him to be and do superhuman wonders in the physical realm and he ascribed his abilities to the fact that he was completely secure in love.

I have loved you just as the Father has loved Me; remain in My love [and do not doubt My love for you].

When I used to hear Christians dish out the cliché “Jesus loves you”, my heart raged until I would echo the Israelite’s demand ‘How have you loved us?’ Looking at the circumstances of my life then, I failed to see where this love was.

Have you ever heard people say, or maybe you have also said “If God loved…then this or that shouldn’t be happening”?

Somehow humanity’s concept of love is skewed towards tangibly visible transactions, performances, and conditions. Again it seems we derive what love is or should be from a misunderstanding that we are primarily spiritual beings and not only physical matters. We also error because love is as invisible and spiritual as our unseen spirit being therefore cannot be constrained to only the sensual experience. Moreover, most of the definitions we have for love are etched in brokenness. No wonder they could never offer the whole that our spirit requires.

The notion that love is eternal sunshine, smooth-stemmed roses, and luxurious comfort leaves most of us disillusioned. If we wait to know love through feelings, signs, and wonders, we may languish in vain. But if we can consider that all we’ve come up with concerning love’s expressions and intentions are distortions, we will begin to perceive the true nature of love and how He loves us so.

So how has he loved us we ask?

“For God so [greatly] loved and dearly prized the world, that He [even] gave His [One and] only begotten Son, so that whoever believes and trusts in Him [as Savior] shall not perish, but have eternal life.

It is a pity that our familiarity with this truth causes us to scornfully dismiss it. But I give thanks to God the Father of our Lord Jesus Christ in whose grace I was given the sense to pause and ponder the weight of each word, and therein found all that my heart spent years searching for and never coming close to attaining.

Frankly, no one has ever loved me or you to the point of giving up their very best, to the point of death and resurrection, with our complete well-being their fixation.

Before I knew how much God loves me, I sought wholehearted acceptance and belonging from my parents, siblings, friendships, and boys but somehow their expressions always fell short. I am sure that my feeble attempts to love those in my life were equally, if not more, miserable.

Because we are mortal, we are limited. We can have only so much patience before frustration snaps our flimsy efforts. We can expend kindness to the extent that we are not disenfranchised or depleted. We need devoted and inexhaustible attention, understanding, patience, kindness, forgiveness, and mercy yet with our busy lives, responsibilities, personal struggles, narrow insight, and prejudice we simply could never ply one another with love in the measures our hearts require.

But God clearly shows and proves His own love for us, by the fact that while we were still sinners, Christ died for us.

The first step in knowing how much you are loved begins by acknowledging the fact that you are a sinner. And trust me, this is no easy feat. Because of our deep-seated defect, pride, none of us ever wants to see or be shown that we are wretches to the core. When a conflict occurs, it’s always someone else to blame. I have often marveled at this innate evil in us when a collision happens on the roads. No one wants to say “oh dear, it was my fault.” Instead lengthy arguments begin. When we do accept fault, we are not fully satisfied unless the other party also acknowledges some part they played. In the context of relationships, neither parent nor child wants to accept full responsibility for their actions and omissions that corrupted or harmed the relationship. In marriage, the adulterer may accept responsibility for the act but justifies it on account of the other’s neglect. This is the classic proverb of pots calling kettles black, the inherited affliction from our ancestry in the Garden of Eden.

Being a sinner is the state of being imperfect and the incapacity of perfectly being and doing what is right all the time, which naturally is to be human. We must face our fallen, sinful humanity to perceive and gain understanding, and experience perfection, which can and may only come from God, the Father of our Lord Jesus Christ.

Freedom from self-importance has got to be a large peace of heaven on earth. It is so wonderful to see ourselves soberly, as we are. This in turn births and grows humility and reverence with God, our neighbor, and ourselves. In these states and postures, we enjoy being loved and loving in return as the gifts they are, not the demands we imagined were entitled to us.

Recognizing and submitting to the fact that God is irrefutably holy, which simply means that he is abidingly perfect in all he is and does, is the right step to knowing and enjoying a love like no other.

A love that transcends time. Love that keeps no record of wrongs. Love that rejoices in doing what is right. A love that loves unto death.

Love is doing what is right perfectly at all times. What is right is to obey God. Therefore to obey God is to love God and to love God is to do what is right, thereby fulfilling all righteousness.

Sin is doing what is not right or doing what is right substandard of consistent perfection.
Righteousness – doing what is right perfectly at all times – brings forth the glory of God.

Jesus Christ fulfilled all righteousness because he loved God by obeying God even unto death, thereby doing what is right. This is why God accepted and approved him and was pleased with him to bring forth the glory of God: ultimate righteousness; Love

Therefore it was only right, that God demonstrated his righteousness – perfect love – in Jesus Christ by laying on him the punishment that man’s unrighteousness demanded.

Though he had done nothing wrong, he exchanged his righteousness in credit to humanity so that heaven and earth may know the Love (righteousness) of God. It was only right that God would raise Jesus Christ from the dead; for having obeyed, therefore doing what is right, and ultimately loving God to the extent he did, God glorified him by raising him from the dead.

In Christ, once and for all, God demonstrates his Love that is rooted and established in doing what is right (righteousness), glorifying (rewarding) righteousness, and condemning (executing) unrighteousness so that whosoever believes in His holy Son shall not perish but inherit eternal life, forever in the love of God.

For it is by grace you have been saved, through faith–and this is not from yourselves, it is the gift of God–not by works, so that no one can boast.

Christ’s perfect love was offered as our covering from hate of God (disobedience, rebellion, sin) that fulfills all unrighteousness demanding all of God’s wrath [Genesis 4:7, Romans 6:23, 3:23].

This immutable love demands a response: to be recognized, appreciated, and considered supreme as it and He is; to be received faithfully and enjoyed with gratefulness, and to be reciprocated in the generosity we have received it, for freely we have received, freely we must give.

We were made for love, to be loved and to be love.

We live out who we are. If we are loved well, and perfectly, we will love. But we must first let ourselves be loved in a love like this.

We give what we have. If we accept to receive washing, rehabilitation, nourishing, and nurturing in a love like this, we will generously share with the starving around us. But we must first bask in receiving the freely given gift of a love like this.

Since I was adopted into the Kingdom of God and checked into Love’s rehab, I am consistently, gently, and patiently being loved to wholeness. My spirit feels less and less emaciated. I am more and more tasting and living in the abundant life of heaven citizenship. I had searched far and wide but now I am fully persuaded that there is absolutely nothing else out there for the human spirit but all that is in the love of God, the Father of our Lord and Savior Jesus Christ.

With all that said, friend, would you be loved and be love or perish at the end of the age?

xoxo

Nimi