Heart is where home is

A few years ago I embarked on my new career as a homemaker and I was determined to make a success of it. After some time of thorough introspection, I composed what I believed was an all-encompassing Homemaker Mandate:

Create magnificent atmospheres rooted and established in loving intentional servanthood and authentic connections that inspire, nourish, solace, and propel souls to wholeness Nimi // Homemaker Mandate

Growing up I had a dream where I saw myself as a domestic Goddess whose husband and children dreaded leaving the home and counted down the seconds till they should return to our sanctuary. I grew up hearing tales of many children who couldn’t wait till they left home, and many husbands who dreaded leaving offices, pubs, or golf courses, and my heart yearned for a different tale.

Imagine the despair when instead of my dream coming true I was looped in a nightmare of a cold empty house that “my person” seemed to shun, in favor of overnights and days playing electronic games elsewhere. As much as it hurt and I wished the mortal could ascend to Christly love, I couldn’t blame him for long because as soon as I had the sense to honestly assess the quality and quantity of all those things my mandate defined as essentials to a pleasant home, the diagnosis revealed a critical state of the heart of the home.

Indeed the structure was not the problem, the house was often clean and mostly tidy but I was taken to a rebuke Jesus spoke saying:

“Woe to you, teachers of the law and Pharisees, you hypocrites! You clean the outside of the cup and dish, but inside they are full of greed and self-indulgence.

Ouch!

But, this was a pain I was so happy to suffer because it was the loving hurting of truth, and we know that the truth sets us free. Moreover, I gained a precious insight that triggered a tremendous transformation toward making my dream a reality. I began to consider the place where I permanently dwelt, that is, my heart.

Yes, we live in houses but as I pondered this vision, I realized that I am always in the home of my mind, will, emotions, and conscience – the heart – and that these atmospheres merely overflow into the physical realm and become real experiences through the creative effect of my words and actions.

The words in my Homemaker Mandate seem to have been the spark that set ablaze the discovery I now pursue, that heart is indeed where a good home is.

The good person out of the good treasure of his heart produces good, and the evil person out of his evil treasure produces evil, for out of the abundance of the heart his mouth speaks.

Yikes!

Again, what painful and humbling truths. In reflection, I was convicted. While examining my heart (my prevailing ideologies, opinions, motives, emotions), I was startled to find innumerable toxic thoughts, desires, intentions, feelings, and rebellions such as those Jesus described when he said: “For out of the heart come evil thoughts and plans, murders, adulteries, sexual immoralities, thefts, false testimonies, slanders (verbal abuse, irreverent speech, blaspheming)”.

We are innately tuned to dwell in a peaceful, nourishing, and nurturing environment. This is the ideal atmosphere we ought to pursue for our homes. Sadly, like mine before coming to my senses, my home was a place terse with hostility. Criticism, entitlement, covetousness, and self-importance were the four sour grapes that wrought wrath, ruckus, and decay in my home.

Like shrilling nails on a blackboard, there’s nothing like being told you’re a failure and being made to feel like you can’t get anything right to make us flee in search of urgent relief. The proverb warns of a brawling woman who sends a man to the corner of a roof but like many an uninitiated wife, I eroded the joy and peace in my home by habitually complaining, nagging, criticizing, and whining under the ruse of ‘helping my husband and our relationship grow’.

In addition to this grave foolishness, I implemented my worldly women’s education from magazines and romance novels demanding that I deserved and was worth this and that.

These demands were almost always born out of comparison and covetousness. Whether in real life, on YouTube, Instagram, or WhatsApp Status I would hear or perceive another wife getting what I felt I wasn’t getting and feel short-changed, and I’d be sure to whine about it to my husband.

Me, me, me, was the grating cacophony that drowned out the harmony we longed for in our home. No wonder “my person” couldn’t bear to dwell in my space and presence for prolonged times!

Coming to the awareness that the miserable state of my home atmosphere was a reflection of my heart’s condition invited me to overhaul my heart-home, remodel it on Love’s blueprint, and become a good person or suffer a miserable existence isolated from the love and warmth of family as my soul ached for. I chose the former, and that has made all the difference.

But how could I become a good person when the Divine diagnosis of humanity’s heart is that it is desperately wicked with every inclination set towards evil from childhood?

Moreover, Jesus set the record straight that only God is good. It only took an honest look into my heart to find nothing purely good therein indeed. This called for urgent heart-house cleaning and I had a hunch about where I could find help. I turned to my dear friend in the Word, Apostle Paul.

Let all bitterness and wrath and anger and clamor [perpetual animosity, resentment, strife, fault-finding] and slander be put away from you, along with every kind of malice [all spitefulness, verbal abuse, malevolence]. Be kind and helpful to one another, tender-hearted [compassionate, understanding], forgiving one another [readily and freely], just as God in Christ also forgave you. 

By the grace of God the Father of our Lord Jesus Christ, through the power of his Holy Spirit, little by little we’re sweeping foulness out of my “heart home.” The cleaner and purer my heart becomes, the more the atmosphere in our home becomes pleasantly infused with peace, love, joy, and friendship. In place of cold, resentful, or fault-finding receptions, the warm joy of appreciation and kindness salutes and ushers our souls into the magnificent atmosphere of heaven’s good treasures, a true homecoming!

Our souls long for home. A place to dwell permanently as members of a family, loved, served, and seen in goodwill. We can try with all our might but there is only One who is this good, all the time.

The heart of God is where I am making my home more and more. As I grow complete confidence and trust in the goodness of his thoughts, will and feelings towards me scandalously revealed in Holy Scripture, I am more and more at ease in his presence and with the anticipation of his coming kingdom.

I suppose like me, many people have lived through deeply distressing heart-homes (our own and others) and have unjustly condemned Abba Father without giving him a fair trial.

As for me, the more I taste and see of him and his heart, the more I am sure that this is what humanity longs for but will never find if we do not consider it worthwhile to attain and retain the knowledge, truth, and power of God’s heart.

In the parable of the Prodigal Son, God demonstrates that though we may misunderstand his heart and go off on our ways, should we ever come to our senses, we can always return home where a hearty warm welcome awaits.

In the heart of God is where we belong. Through faith in the life, death, and resurrection of Christ, we may enter and be utterly dazzled in the splendor, majesty, and matchless expression of perfect goodness in God’s heart-home.

Our wandering, worn, and weary souls crave a place where they can live and belong permanently. Perhaps it is time to let go of all our defenses, demolish futile arguments, and simply crawl back into the shape of you and me imprinted in Abba’s heart.

Dear one, would you run to the Father and enjoy the perfect belonging and rest your soul is dying for?

xoxo

Nimi